Controversy continues to follow the four time world champion New England Patriots. After their 2015 season opening 28-21 win against Pittsburgh at Gillete Stadium in Foxboro, Steelers coach Mike Tomlin made allegations suggesting that the defending Super Bowl champions had something to do with their headset malfunctions.
Further investigation by our reporting staff may have turned up evidence that coach’s unscrupulous activities are in practice off the field as well. Following up on an anonymous tip we spoke to the president of the home owners association and the chairman of the neighborhood watch committee regarding resident’s complaints made against the coach over the last decade.
“He showed up unexpected and uninvited at a Fourth of July barbecue insisted that we not call him Bill, instead refer to him as coach.” Recalls one resident, “many of my guests and I witnessed as he continually ‘double dipped’ my wife’s famous onion dip rendering it unsavory for any of the other attendees.”
When asked about the celebration the coach stated, “good times great dip. Next question.”
Another neighbor stated, “I found his style of small talk rather odd, he asked for the name of my first pet, high school mascot, and my favorite flavor of ice cream. I didn’t give it too much thought until I noticed that my Internet speed would be extremely slow, especially when Belichick was at home. I am certain that the coach had been hacking my WiFi.”
When we questioned the coach about his neighbor’s allegations, Belichick as usual kept it brief and curt stating, “he’s a good neighbor, keeps to himself.”
A third resident of neighborhood filed a complaint with the homeowners association regarding a new hedge trimmer that the coach had borrowed in 2010 and never returned.
When asked about the hedge trimmer that he had yet to return, Belichick replied, ” he’s got a nice yard, well kept. Are we done here?”
Other complaints filed against Belichick include putting soiled greasy pizza boxes into the recycling bin as well as leaving his empty waste receptacles on the curbside for days after the trash has been picked up. The homeowners association intends to take action by banning the coach from several of their upcoming meetings as well as fining him for his lack of adherence to the rules.