Working class community enraged to learn that resident left Ray Rice benched on his fantasy football roster and neglected to drop him from the team entirely.
Reading, Massachusetts– A local man has assisted in taking some of the heat off of NFL commissioner Roger Goodell today, when residents of Boston’s North Shore suburb learned that Scott Fabrizio, developer of Fabriz fragrance for men, had neglected to cut Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice from his fantasy team roster.
“You would never think that something this vulgar could happen so close to home,” said Lisa Black-Horton, “I’ve known Scott since he was a teenager and didn’t think that it was too big of a deal to hear that we were in the same fantasy football league. To think that my kids Nathan and Jaclyn are in the same fantasy league with us just makes me shudder.”
“I’m a member of dozen’s of fantasy leagues, several of which I happen to be a commissioner of,” said Thomas Glenville, General Contractor. “This type of negligence goes against everything that fantasy football was created for, I am offended to be playing him this weekend and intend to humiliate him with a crushing defeat.”
“To be honest, I had initially picked him as my flex guy. I knew that he wouldn’t be available for two weeks because of a suspension. I hadn’t followed the news and since he was on the Ravens, I had assumed that he was suspended as a result of drug or weapons charges and would be good to go by week three,” said Fabrizio in a statement released to Realistic Industries.
“In no way do I support his actions or condone his behavior, I have submitted an apology to my fantasy commissioner, Zack Sosa and I am willing to suffer any consequences that may result from his decision on the matter.” Fabrizio went on to say, “but if I get kicked out of the league, I want my fifty dollar buy-in back.”