Millions of zombies marched today down Hollywood Blvd in protest of the growing discrimination against the un-dead in the media, television, movies and especially on a holiday like Halloween. Protesters hope to raise the awareness of both the living and the walking dead that indeed the struggle is real and zombies as a group are not going to put up with it any longer.
Zombies fight for Zombie rights
“We can not go another day without being represented, there is not one single zombie in the house of representatives or in the senate, we have no voice in any city or state, ” said zombie Millard Castor leader of the Un Dead Anti-Defamation League (UDADL.)
Regarding the negative portrayal of the un-dead in the media
When asked about the popularity of TV shows and movies about zombies being so wildly popular, the zombie Castor had this to say, “you see that is the problem, Hollywood focuses solely on the bad qualities of zombies, the terrorizing and the flesh eating, when have you ever seen a movie where a zombie doesn’t play the bad guy, take for example Norman Reedus, great actor, I loved what he did in the Boondock Saints, but every Sunday night he is on TV firing arrows into zombie after zombie and America looks at him like a hero. The other day my un-dead son asked me to buy him a Daryl t-shirt. It makes me sad.”
The UDADL chairman also went on to mention how unfairly most zombies were treated in the workplace, once again taking a shot at AMC’s hit series The Walking Dead, ” the producers of the show probably won’t tell you this, but in the five seasons that the show has been on the air all of the roles of the ‘walkers’ have been portrayed by living, breathing actors with a pulse. Meanwhile, hundreds of real un-dead actors go without work, but are still expected to pay their union dues to the Screen Actors Guild. It’s asinine, how unfair is it that a TV show that has the nerve to call itself The Walking Dead does not employ a single person that is actually walking dead.”
Zombie discrimination in the workplace
A representative from the program stated that real zombies were not employed strictly for the basis of continuity in the program. “Real zombies are dead and are undergoing constant stages of decay, therefore, if we were to shoot a scene with a real zombie in the beginning of May and that zombie happens to lose an arm to decomposition in the middle of May, it would make a re shoot in June virtually impossible. We sympathize with the entire zombie community and their struggles and in no way intend our portrayal of the un-dead to defame or blemish their image.”
No holiday for the un-dead
We ask that you all keep zombies in your thoughts this October 31st, Halloween is the day of the dead. There is no day of the un-dead. Zombies don’t get a holiday.
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