DC bar owners prepare to be stiffed on open bar tabs when Biden leaves office

biden 1When the Vice President’s second term comes to an end, bar owners all over the Washington DC, Baltimore and Richmond prepare to be stiffed on dozens of unpaid bar tabs.

Allegedly, Biden spent the better part of eight years frequenting many popular watering holes and seedy dives, and used his public status to rack up a small fortune of alcohol on credit.

James Marshall, owner of The Pounding Fathers, went on the record with Realistic Industries regarding several encounters with the Vice President in an effort to settle his outstanding bill, “He always had some kind of a story, ‘ Oh C’mon Jimmy, Bam Bam wants me to show the premier of Liechtenstein a good time, but I’m a little short of cash. Think you can front me?'” Marshall went on to say, “or he had some kind of an excuse like, ‘I can’t believe I left my wallet in the rose garden again. Can you put it on my tab?'”
We caught up to the Vice President at a vending machine. He was shaking loose a bag of chips dangling from the end of a biden 2spring. It is not clear if he paid for the chips or had seized an opportunity that a previous customer had abandoned. He told our reporters, “people don’t realize that my salary is merely $230,700.00 annually. Yet, I am required to entertain visiting dignitaries. That would be possible if dignitaries would be satisfied with appetizers at Chilli’s or splitting a 30 pack. Not every world leader has the same values as Vladimir Putin,” admitted Biden. “All of those guys know me. They know that I’m good for it. Why the hell are they whining to you guys about it?”