Local man distraught over lackluster response to status update

Braintree, MAfacepalm

When Gianni Zilli updated his Facebook status to inform his friends and family that he had recently purchased a new phone and now had a new phone number he didn’t expect to crash the internet with a high volume of responses from everyone asking for his new contact information. Instead, he was shocked by an overwhelmingly low outcome of notifications.

“I updated my status around noon time on Wednesday afternoon, shortly after activating the new phone informing everyone that I had a new number and to contact me there to receive my new information, “explains Zilli. “I decided to give it an hour so that I would not appear to be too eager, but when I had checked in at around 1:30 on the same afternoon, I was saddened to see that there was only a single red number one appearing above the blue globe in my notifications bar. I was further discouraged to find that it was merely a request to sign up and play ‘Farm-ville’ from a distant cousin.”

Zilli watched for hours as his other friend’s posts continued to get like after like and seemingly endless comment threads. “One girl that I used to work with got twelve likes for posting a picture of the fruit salad that she ate at a local restaurant on Instagram. Instagram?!! It’s not even Facebook it’s a linked account. How is that possible?”

Determined to root out the cause of his friends and family’s lack of response to such an epic life altering event, Zilli spent hours on the phone with Facebook’s administration department in an attempt to solve the mystery.

“Was it a low traffic time for Facebook viewing among his friends list?”

“Had his status update been posted too low among peoples news feeds?”

“Is there away of determining who was just scrolling by? Or who was stopping to read but not replying?”

After hours of hard hitting questions, the frustrated representative at Facebook administration finally told Zilli, “maybe no one really cares, just because they add you on Facebook doesn’t mean that they give a shit about you.”